Bohm, bohm ba bohm

There's a commercial making rounds on tv right now for the movie Jarhead. It's harmless enough, despite Jamie Fox' crazy rendition of "ooh-rah", but the background music is driving me crazy. Bohm, bohm, bohm, bohm ba bohm....it's catchy beyond belief. I find myself making those sounds without meaning to, and I've gotten some strange looks in public-at Wal Mart. When people give you crazy looks at Wal Mart, you know you're weird.
The Jarhead commercial goes hand in hand with a new iPod commercial featuring Eminem's "Lose Yourself". They give you just enough of the song to get the beat going in your head, then they yank the chain. People, this kind of teasing has got to stop. The advertisers know we're going to get these little snippets stuck in our heads, repeat them endlessly, and in doing so pretty much ruin our days. But they just don't care. And, unlike those credit card fraud commercials where the girl lip syncs to the man in the recliner saying, "1,500 for a leather bustier?", these commercials are neither funny nor worth sharing with random people on the street. In fact, they're positively annoying to everyone they come into contact with.
And yet, I can't get enough of them. When I hear the Jarhead commercial on in another room, I rush over to listen. Same with the iPod, except after hearing it I have the disease worse. I don't know why, but ever since I learned the words to "Lose Yourself" I act as if it was my very own rap. I let the words slide off my tongue with unmatchable grace and speed; I even do the retarded hand wave thing he does. It's like I'm back in Detroit, my old stomping grounds.
If commercials like these can have such influence over me I think I should have control over the commericals. I propose we do advertising like we do government: democracy baby! Just picture it: national caucuses debating, deciding, and eventually electing the people's choice. Then Florida can screw up, and a coupla months later we'll put the second choice on tv for 365 days solid. That should give us enough time to caucus and pick a new commercial for the ensuing year. It's gotta be better than having six or seven jingles stuck in our heads, right?