Monday, December 05, 2005

The Weatherman Who Cried Snow

Alright people, I'm tired of this nonsense. We do not get substantial snowfall in Mount Airy in December. Period. Especially when it's fifty degrees outside. Especially when it was seventy degrees a week ago. It's just not happening people; get over it.
This happens every year. I'm puttering along, pacing myself through the last week or so of school, when suddenly someone decides it's time for snow. They get my hopes up. I tell myself, "Don't be fooled, you've been burned like this before." But it's no use. Once I hear even one person use the word "snow" I immediately go out of work mode and into snowday mode. But the snowday doesn't come. I become depressed; school becomes an unbelieveable chore even though ten minutes earlier I hadn't minded the thought of going at all.
Everyone is pissy on would-be snowdays. People go out of their minds.; Starr swore she heard sleet all through first period today. And since when is everyone a meteorologist? "The front's comin through." Do you really know that, or are you just repeating what your friend told you five minutes ago? People here have memories similar to that of a goldfish. Do they not remember last year? Or the year before? Or every year? We are below the Mason-Dixon line here. "At least six inches by nightfall!" Sure, keep telling yourself that.
Fortunately, school administrators combine a provincial lack of memory to a complete lack of spine. They let us out of school at 2:00 today because, of course, very soon the demons of winter were to be upon us. Didn't pan out, but I had quite a nap. And that's always a good thing.
So maybe there is some value in all of this hoopla. Weathermen are the devil, the meteorological laity are just plain annoying, but anytime I get a free nap we're all going to be ok.

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